It's You

There’s so much memories I left behind. From my childhood until now, when I already get my id card and allow to get married freely. But, then when I checked it, It’s all about you. Every moment I remember either it’s sad or happy. It’s all you. And I just realize that my life is your life, that my time has already given to you since I was a cute little baby with an empty brain and mind.

Now, you’ve gone, you’ve moved to your new life that is not mine anymore. You go with new people that are very different with me. Are you comfortable? Are you enjoying your life now? Are you happy with what you get now? Are you? We never say clearly that we hate each other or we should be separated. You just said that I deserve a better life without you that you didn’t even know what better looks like. You also said that I will be happier if I didn’t meet you anymore. You know, you are a full bullshit guy I’ve ever found. You are Mr.Know-it-all. You acted like knowing every little thing about me, whereas you don’t. I am not even happier now. Every single day without you is hardest moment in my life. I’m crying over and over again. I was dreaming about you on my sleep every night and when I’m back to the real life, I didn’t see you. I miss you, you know. I’m sad and frustrate. I’m not better at all.

Five years are a long time to me for trying to be happy without you. It’s a long time to me for finding the new one. Hot and cool guys sneak me around, ask for hanging out on the Saturday night, flirt with me one or two or more times, but then, They are just guys. I don’t even have feeling to them. I don’t even care what is going to happen in their life. The only one I care about is you. You. You again.

Now, I don’t know how to reach you. I don’t know if you still want me like you did. I try to believe in you for the last five years, trying to find what better and happier means in your dictionary. Are they different with mine? But, I just failed every time I try. I got my eyes wet and my door locked then just hearing hopeless girl’s crying.

The only thing I have is just memories that can connect you and me. Sad or happy memories, I don’t care. If it’s all about you, it will look same in my eyes. My memories are my best friends now, even my boyfriend, my partner, my mate. Remembering you, thinking about you, are my favorite activities. That they are all are the only things that makes me better and happier. Probably, you might forget some words in you last words for me five years ago. You should say, “You will be better and happier without me, but still keeping our memories on your mind,”